Is it time to rethink our work relationships?
This week, I spent some time with Emma, a recently promoted senior leader. In our last few coaching sessions, we've discussed defining success at her new level of responsibility. Relationships have featured heavily in our conversations - upwards with the Executives, sideways with her peers and, of course, with her newly formed team of direct reports.
This week we focused on Emma's progress in building relationships with fellow leadership team members. Listening carefully, I could hear Emma's considered, intentional efforts to deepen relationships with her new teammates. It was clear they were getting along well. I asked her,
"What difference are your efforts making to your teams' cross-functional work?"
Emma looked at me quizzically, paused and said, "We haven't got to that yet." Now it was my turn to pause. Her comment made me think,
"Ideally, great relationships help us generate extra value when we work together. Realistically that isn’t always going to happen. So what then?
Don't get me wrong; I'm a big fan of creating wonderful friendships at work when you can. Some of my most treasured, long-standing friendships started at work. Perhaps we should also challenge ourselves to think about the possibilities of working together differently.
"How might we, with our teams', work together to create more value?"
Some practical examples of this could include having explicit conversations to resolve questions like:
Why do you think our leadership team meetings feel like a series of individual updates instead of robust discussions about the shared issues across the business? or
Why do work streams seem siloed when our teams have clear interdependencies? or
Where have you seen missed opportunities in the past for our teams to collaborate?
The trust that builds with the development of personal relationships can be a powerful lubricant for navigating difficult work situations. But, let's face it, not everyone gets along. And that's OK. We'd be naive to think that everyone can and should be besties. At the same time, don’t be surprised if unexpected bonds form through your collective pursuit. It’s amazing how our appreciation for others can change as we see them “do their thing”.
Every relationship has a different level of trust - which means that we must rely on more than the presence of a great connection to deliver the outcomes expected of us.
Often we fall back on the ideals of shared vision and goals as though they will fill all gaps. They are necessary glue to bind cross-functional initiatives, but alone they are insufficient. The real value comes when team members across functions openly and explicitly recognize the interdependence of their work, connect it to the vision and goals and collaborate to bring it to life - even if they don't get along brilliantly.
The practical reality is that your team members take their queues from you, their leader. If they can't see you investing in working more effectively with your peers, they likely won't either. Even if you are working purposefully on it, making your efforts visible while working remotely can be tricky. Here are a few suggestions to help increase the visibility of your intentions and actions:
Talk to your team about your approach to building work connections. Call out the progress you've made by keeping it top of mind.
Add a standing item to your direct reports' meeting agenda to discuss the status and actions required for their most critical inter-team relationships.
Take time to call out instances where the focus on working effectively with another team has produced outcomes beyond initial expectations.
When a direct report is having trouble getting along with a critical collaborator, encourage them to focus on how they can connect through the work.
Encourage your team to openly acknowledge relationship challenges and create a safe space to co-create possible solutions.
Broadening our focus on work relationships creates infinite possibilities for collaboration and creativity. Surely that can't be a bad thing?