Stop seems to be the hardest word

Even though we hate to admit it, we've all got limited time and capacity - and unlimited ways to deploy it. It takes real discipline to focus that capacity on delivering our desired impact. In many ways, it's easier to react to the urgent demands that swirl around us than to make the hard decision to stop and re-direct.  

Does any of that feel familiar? 

It might be the decision to discontinue a venture that isn't working, quit a job that is making us unhappy, or turn down a promotion or an opportunity to join something new and unproven. These complex decisions require us to say "no" or "stop".

Often the most challenging decisions are what not to do.

How do we know when to stop? When is enough enough? And how do we hold ourselves accountable for making the tough calls?

Recently I faced one of these hard decisions. I suspect I spent as much time thinking about how to make it as I did about it, which helped me feel confident in the ultimate decision. I considered a range of questions that attempted to balance the rational and emotional elements of the decision.

What have I learned that I need to consider in the decision? 

  • What information do I need to make the decision? Do I have it? From where can I get it?

  • What is the data telling me? Am I paying attention to it?

  • Does the data indicate that this opportunity will bring me closer to delivering my desired impact?

  • Can I trust the data?

  • What learnings can I take with me to whatever comes next?

What will it free me up to do if I stop this?

  • What other options have I considered?

  • How does this opportunity compare to alternatives? 

How do I feel about calling a halt to something I care about?

  • What would I need to move on?

  • How will I manage the inevitable tensions such as:

    • Grief (for the lost opportunity) vs Pride (in the way we conducted ourselves)

    • Intellect (I know it's correct to stop) vs Ego (I should persevere, or I'll look bad)

    • Clarity (I know how to keep going with this) vs Uncertainty (if I stop this, what will I do next?)

Who else needs to be part of the decision?

  • Who else is essential in making this decision? 

  • Who else needs to be engaged in the decision?

  • Who needs to endorse the decision? 

  • Who needs to be informed? What do I want them to know?

  • How will they all feel if I decide to stop?

  • How important is their reaction?

My decision-making wasn't perfect (it never is!), and it wasn't linear either. It was hard, iterative and involved quite a few sleepless nights. But the decision has been made, and I'm in the process of moving on. I'm also thinking about how I could improve the way I made the decision. What did I overlook? Did I decide at the right time? Could anything have changed my outlook?

I'd love to know your thoughts!

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Throw your resolutions out the window. Try intentions instead