Micro-moments: are they your unrealised leadership superpower?

I spent this morning in conversation with my friend Jen. She is one of those friends. You know the ones — the trusted, go-to people in your life who can always bring new and different perspective to the problem you’re pondering.

They read widely and voraciously. They have an extensive network of people they talk to often. They see links between concepts that otherwise wouldn’t. And they generously bring that perspective to you when you need it most. They are a rare breed — and I feel very lucky to have a few of those people in my life.

Invariably when Jen and I meet, our 1-hour catch-up turns into 3 hours — and today was no exception. We covered topics from potential career changes, home renovations, relationships, theories of child development, the pace of change in today’s business environment, the pitfalls of joint decision making and, of course, leadership.

During our conversation we stumbled into the concept of “micro-moments” — those seemingly insignificant opportunities to create better, deeper relationships.

To me it sounds like a cross between mindfulness (at least the very literal interpretation of “being in the moment”) and positive psychology (again quite literally “seeing the good in a situation”). It could be as simple as making coffee for your partner and pouring it into a takeaway cup when you know they’re running late for work. According Jen (or more accurately the research she’d been reading….) these small gestures have a bigger cumulative impact than having date night every Friday.

It made me wonder about the role of micro-moments in leadership. Often “great leadership” is described as a long list of BIG things that need done to create the right environment for a team to thrive. But what if the micro-moments are actually more important? What would that look like?

The first step is creating time and space to recognise the moments when they come along. Some of my clients talk regretfully about the pace of their typical day. It’s not uncommon for me to hear comments like “My day starts at 8am. I have meetings back to back until 5pm. I don’t have time to think — and by the time I do, I’m so exhausted I might as well go home”. Let’s face it, it’s tough to recognise, let alone act on, micro-moments if every moment is already full.

Then there’s observation. It requires active focus. You’ll need to be paying real attention to those around you to see what is actually happening for them — to recognise the opportunity to help them.

If they resort to asking you for help you’ve probably missed the micro-moment opportunity.

If you have high EQ, the observation part tends to come more easily. If you’re lower on the EQ scale it takes a lot more effort to get this part right.

And then of course there’s action. Just noticing something isn’t enough — you have to do or say something to make a difference for that individual. It could be as simple as noticing that Bob isn’t quite himself and taking the time to ask if he is OK. Or recognising Sarah’s contribution in the last meeting that significantly changed the course of the conversation. Remember these are micro-moments — small things that can have large impact — especially if they are repeated over time.

Which leads me to the final element…consistency. Value can certainly come from an individual micro-moment. But imagine the cumulative value if you’re able to make micro-moments repeatable and sustainable. Not a scripted, robotic response but rather a genuine mental model that consistently wonders about the small acts that would benefit others.

If you’d like to find out more about how to leverage micro-moments as your leadership superpower, let’s chat!